The #1 habit married men want to change in their wives

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Survey Results:
What is the #1 habit married men want to change in their wives?

Survey Summary:
Men want to change only two things about their wives: 50% want to change how their wives communicate with them, and 40% want to change what their wives do (performance). 10% of men want no changes at all. Performance changes desired include driving, spending, drinking, smoking, doing tasks a certain way, losing things and leaving things lying around. Communication changes include nagging, being paranoid, too emotional, not listening well and being too critical. The majority of husbands believe they cannot change their wives' habits, nor should they try.

How to interpret survey results:
Option 1: Read all the answers to each question.
Option 2: Read what each person said (Follow answers by Respondent # for each question)

When you are done, please give us your confidential opinion of this survey in the message box at the bottom of this page. Thank you!

What is the #1 habit you would like to change in your wife?

1	Performance	Follow through on tasks and take initiative
2	Performance	her drinking (and lying about it).
6	Performance	She does something she has asked me to do before I get a "chance" to do it
9	Performance	I would like her to be more consistent in her requests.
10	Performance	smoking
12	Performance	Showing more interest in the side roads then the road she is driving on.
14	Performance	Constantly misplacing items
18	Performance	change her SPENDING habit
22	Performance	Leaving things where I'll trip over them
3	0	I wouldn't want to change anything
16	0	nothing!
4	Communication	I would like to change her habit of paranoia.
5	Communication	nagging
7	Communication	She has a habit of keeping things that concern her hidden - she bottles up minor irritations until they build up emotional pressure. When this inner turmoil reaches the boiling point she blows up.
8	Communication	communication
11	Communication	When I try to tell her about how hectic my day was or something that may have gone wrong instead of sympathy she usually comes back with something in her day that was just as bad.
13	Communication	Have more spontaneity - just go and not have to fuss.
15	Communication	Not willing to see my perspective.
17	Communication	stop criticizing so much
19	Communication	crying too easily
20	Communication	The sense that she is always right and my voice or opinion is never heard.
21	Communication	Being bossy and nagging about cleaning. Be a know it all.

2. Why?
1	Help her and the household to be better organized
2	she becomes verbally abusive ... especially toward me
6	It feelings a little she doesn't trust me to do it. Also, I may have changed what I was planning to do to fit the task in which is frustrating.
9	She asks me to do what she asks for. When I try to comply with this she gets upset that I have not done something that I intuitively should have known to do.
10	it will kill her
12	I wind up being stressed out from back seat driving.
14	When she can't find something, I have to help look for it. This occurs at least once a day.
18	It would relieve some pressure on me.
22	Avoiding personal injury.
3	She is perfect as she is
16	n/a
4	It hinders closer relationships with friends and family.
5	for peace
7	If she could deal with the small things individually as they occur, this could be avoided.
8	to understand better
11	I sometimes feel like not sharing my day since I feel that because of her insecurity she has to compete.
13	She like to plan - I like to go on the fly
15	It makes me feel unheard.
17	difficult to remain open & loving when criticism is continual
19	she looks terrible when crying
20	It's humiliating, especially in public.
21	Life's too short to be hounded all the time. And I'm old enough that I don't need to be told how to behave.

3. How do you feel about the idea of intentionally trying to change habits in your wife that bother you?
1	It would be great if it happened, but you cannot change the person
2	Very comfortable. Something has to be done. Either she gets it under control, or I'm gone. It's that simple.
6	If it was a really big issue, we would need to talk about it. I don't like the idea of "changing her" but discussion will result in us both adjusting. In the above case, I grumble when it happens and life goes on. It just is not that important.
9	I am not in favor of anyone trying to change another person. We need to learn others habits and try to get to a comfortable "middle zone".
10	very stressful
12	Some should be left alone and others should be approached with caution.
14	I can't change my wife and would not want to try to change her
18	It doesn't matter how intentional I am, If she doesn't want to change she will not change.
22	I would rarely make any attempt.
3	I think it is more important to focus on changing my bad habits and attitudes ie before you remove a splinter out of someone else's eye take the plank out of your own.
16	If she wants help with a change - I'm there!
4	I'm hoping by pointing the problem out to her, she will realize that she even has the habit and can become a better person for it. Just like she tells me not to drive so aggressively. Half the time I don't even realize that I am, that's how ingrained the habit is.
5	tried
7	Ordinarily people's habits don't bother me much, and I wouldn't try to change them. However I feel that changing this tendency would benefit her as well as me.
8	n/a
11	Not a good idea. Acceptance is the key.
13	I can be overbearing at times like a parent
15	It's challenging.
17	I realize that I cannot change her, I can only change myself and the way I interact with her
19	rather not do it
20	If it's necessary for the survival of the marriage, then I'm all for it.
21	Hopeless cause.

8. If you wish, please list any other habits that you would like to change in your wife.
1	Not being able to leave work mode at the office.
2	None that I can think of...
3	I would like her to ask for sex once in a while. She only asks about twice a year, but seems to enjoy it if I ask.
4	She is very focused on running her owns family business. I'd like her to be less involved in her extended family and more involved in our relationship ( wasted energy)

Please give us your confidential opinion of this survey at the bottom of this page. Thank you!

4. What is your age grouping?
40-49	11 (45.83%)
50-59	5 (20.83%)
30-39	4 (16.67%)
60-69	2 (8.33%)
18-29	2 (8.33%)

5. How many years have you been married to your present wife?
4 to 10 years	11 (45.83%)
25 years +	4 (16.67%)
1 to 3 years	4 (16.67%)
11 to 25 years	3 (12.50%)
less than 1 year	2 (8.33%)

6. How many years have you been married to a previous wife(wives)
Never previously married	17 (70.83%)
4 to 10 years	3 (12.50%)
11 to 25 years	2 (8.33%)
1 to 3 years	2 (8.33%)

7. How important are your spiritual beliefs about marriage?
very important	15 (62.50%)
somewhat important	5 (20.83%)
completely unimportant	4 (16.67%)

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