|
Survey Results:
What is the #1 habit married men want to change in their
wives?
Survey Summary:
Men want to change only two things about their wives: 50% want to change how
their wives communicate
with them, and 40% want to change what their wives do (performance).
10% of men want no changes at all. Performance changes desired include
driving, spending, drinking, smoking, doing tasks a certain way, losing things
and leaving things lying around. Communication changes include nagging,
being paranoid, too emotional, not listening well and being too critical.
The majority of husbands believe they cannot change their wives' habits,
nor should they try.
How to interpret survey results:
Option 1: Read all the answers to each question.
Option 2: Read
what each person said (Follow answers by Respondent # for each question)
When you are done, please give us your
confidential
opinion of this survey in the message box at the bottom of this page.
Thank you!
What is the #1 habit you would like to change in your
wife?
|
1 |
Performance |
Follow through on
tasks and take initiative |
|
2 |
Performance |
her drinking (and
lying about it). |
|
6 |
Performance |
She does something
she has asked me to do before I get a "chance" to do it |
|
9 |
Performance |
I would like her to
be more consistent in her requests. |
|
10 |
Performance |
smoking |
|
12 |
Performance |
Showing more
interest in the side roads then the road she is driving on. |
|
14 |
Performance |
Constantly
misplacing items |
|
18 |
Performance |
change her SPENDING
habit |
|
22 |
Performance |
Leaving things where
I'll trip over them |
|
3 |
0 |
I wouldn't want to
change anything |
|
16 |
0 |
nothing! |
|
4 |
Communication |
I would like to
change her habit of paranoia. |
|
5 |
Communication |
nagging |
|
7 |
Communication |
She has a habit of
keeping things that concern her hidden - she bottles up minor irritations
until they build up emotional pressure. When this inner turmoil reaches the
boiling point she blows up. |
|
8 |
Communication |
communication |
|
11 |
Communication |
When I try to tell
her about how hectic my day was or something that may have gone wrong
instead of sympathy she usually comes back with something in her day that
was just as bad. |
|
13 |
Communication |
Have more
spontaneity - just go and not have to fuss. |
|
15 |
Communication |
Not willing to see
my perspective. |
|
17 |
Communication |
stop criticizing so
much |
|
19 |
Communication |
crying too easily |
|
20 |
Communication |
The sense that she
is always right and my voice or opinion is never heard. |
|
21 |
Communication |
Being bossy and
nagging about cleaning. Be a know it all. |
| 2.
Why? |
|
1 |
Help her and the household to be
better organized |
|
2 |
she becomes verbally abusive ...
especially toward me |
|
6 |
It feelings a little she doesn't
trust me to do it. Also, I may have changed what I was planning to do to fit
the task in which is frustrating. |
|
9 |
She asks me to
do what she asks for.
When I try to comply with this she gets upset that I have not done something
that I intuitively should have known to do. |
|
10 |
it will kill her |
|
12 |
I wind up being stressed out from
back seat driving. |
|
14 |
When she can't find something, I
have to help look for it. This occurs at least once a day. |
|
18 |
It would relieve some pressure on
me. |
|
22 |
Avoiding personal injury. |
|
3 |
She is perfect as she is |
|
16 |
n/a |
|
4 |
It hinders closer relationships
with friends and family. |
|
5 |
for peace |
|
7 |
If she could deal with the small
things individually as they occur, this could be avoided. |
|
8 |
to understand better |
|
11 |
I sometimes feel like not sharing
my day since I feel that because of her insecurity she has to compete. |
|
13 |
She like to plan - I like to go on
the fly |
|
15 |
It makes me feel unheard. |
|
17 |
difficult to remain open & loving
when criticism is continual |
|
19 |
she looks terrible when crying |
|
20 |
It's humiliating, especially in
public. |
|
21 |
Life's too short to be hounded all
the time. And I'm old enough that I don't need to be told how to behave. |
| 3.
How do you feel about the idea of intentionally trying to change habits in
your wife that bother you? |
|
1 |
It would be great if it happened,
but you cannot change the person |
|
2 |
Very comfortable. Something has to
be done. Either she gets it under control, or I'm gone. It's that simple. |
|
6 |
If it was a really big issue, we
would need to talk about it. I don't like the idea of "changing her" but
discussion will result in us both adjusting. In the above case, I grumble
when it happens and life goes on. It just is not that important. |
|
9 |
I am not in favor of anyone trying
to change another person. We need to learn others habits and try to get to a
comfortable "middle zone". |
|
10 |
very stressful |
|
12 |
Some should be left alone and
others should be approached with caution. |
|
14 |
I can't change my wife and would
not want to try to change her |
|
18 |
It doesn't matter how intentional
I am, If she doesn't want to change she will not change. |
|
22 |
I would rarely make any attempt. |
|
3 |
I think it is more important to
focus on changing my bad habits and attitudes ie before you remove a
splinter out of someone else's eye take the plank out of your own. |
|
16 |
If she wants help with a change -
I'm there! |
|
4 |
I'm hoping by pointing the problem
out to her, she will realize that she even has the habit and can become a
better person for it. Just like she tells me not to drive so aggressively.
Half the time I don't even realize that I am, that's how ingrained the habit
is. |
|
5 |
tried |
|
7 |
Ordinarily people's habits don't
bother me much, and I wouldn't try to change them. However I feel that
changing this tendency would benefit her as well as me. |
| 8 |
n/a |
|
11 |
Not a good idea. Acceptance is the
key. |
|
13 |
I can be overbearing at times like
a parent |
|
15 |
It's challenging. |
|
17 |
I realize that I cannot change
her, I can only change myself and the way I interact with her |
|
19 |
rather not do it |
|
20 |
If it's necessary for the survival
of the marriage, then I'm all for it. |
|
21 |
Hopeless cause. |
| 8. If
you wish, please list any other habits that you would like to change in your
wife. |
|
1 |
Not being able to leave work mode
at the office. |
|
2 |
None that I can think of... |
|
3 |
I would like her to ask for sex
once in a while. She only asks about twice a year, but seems to enjoy it if I
ask. |
|
4 |
She is very focused on running her
owns family business. I'd like her to be less involved in her extended
family and more involved in our relationship ( wasted energy) |
Please give us your confidential
opinion of this survey at the bottom of this page. Thank you!
| 4.
What is your age grouping? |
| 40-49
|
 11
(45.83%) |
| 50-59
|
 5
(20.83%) |
| 30-39
|
 4
(16.67%) |
| 60-69
|
 2 (8.33%)
|
| 18-29
|
2 (8.33%)
|
| 5.
How many years have you been married to your present wife? |
| 4 to 10 years
|
11
(45.83%) |
| 25 years +
|
4
(16.67%) |
| 1 to 3 years
|
4
(16.67%) |
| 11 to 25 years
|
3 (12.50%)
|
| less than 1 year
|
2 (8.33%)
|
| 6.
How many years have you been married to a previous wife(wives)
|
| Never previously
married |
17
(70.83%) |
| 4 to 10 years
|
3
(12.50%) |
| 11 to 25 years
|
2 (8.33%)
|
| 1 to 3 years
|
2 (8.33%)
|
| 7.
How important are your spiritual beliefs about marriage? |
| very important
|
15
(62.50%) |
| somewhat important
|
5
(20.83%) |
| completely
unimportant |
4
(16.67%) |
|
