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Survey Results:
What is the #1 habit married women think their husbands
want to change in them?
Survey Summary:
50% of wives think their husbands want them to change their
performance habits like how they dress, spending, cluttering, clinging, being
too slow. Other performance habits include losing weight, cooking more,
"everything" and leaving the door open behind her.
The other 50% of wives think their husbands want to
change their communication habits like their mood, emotions, sensitivity,
jealousy, not being "right" all the time and critiquing him. Most think
the reason for wanting these habits to change is simply that they "bother" their
husbands, he wants control, he wants her to be like him and he feels bad by her
behavior. Surprisingly, 6 of 10 wives think it is acceptable for their
husbands to try to change the habits that bother him. Four out of ten
wives are quite offended by this idea.
How to interpret survey results:
Option 1: Read all the answers to each question.
Option 2: Read
what each person said (Follow answers by Respondent # for each question)
When you are done, please
give us your confidential
opinion
of this survey at the bottom of this page. Thank you!
|
1.
What is the #1 habit your husband wants to change in you? |
|
3 |
Performance |
The way I dressed, did
my hair, laughed, my perfume......... |
|
4 |
Performance |
Being slow. |
|
5 |
Performance |
Spending money |
|
7 |
Performance |
stop or reduce my
cluttering |
|
10 |
Performance |
clinging |
|
1 |
Communication |
Me getting in a bad
mood and being cranky |
|
2 |
Communication |
to be less sensitive |
|
6 |
Communication |
He would probably
change my jealousy. |
|
8 |
Communication |
Noticing the little
detail about his appearance, speech, manners, etc., etc. that isn't quite
right. |
|
9 |
Communication |
wants me to be less
emotional |
|
2.
Why? |
|
3 |
Image. He thought I
was an extension of him and the way I looked, acted, etc., reflected on him. |
|
4 |
Because he himself is a
quick person who makes fast decision. And apparently, he wants me to match up
with him. |
|
5 |
Control |
|
7 |
because it is a
problem and reduces our living space and causes stress and tension (mostly
in me) |
|
10 |
he wants to be free to
do more on his own |
|
1 |
because he feels bad
when I'm like this... |
|
2 |
It bothers him. Men do
not think the way women do and therefore it is difficult to comply with our
sensitive needs and avoid such issues/topics/actions |
|
6 |
He feels I become
jealous for no reason. |
|
8 |
It makes him feel less
than good about himself. |
|
9 |
because it bothers him |
|
3.
How do you feel about the idea of your husband intentionally trying to
change a habit of yours that bothers him? |
|
|
3 |
The most important
thing for me is to be accepted as a valuable human being. I don't like the
idea of someone trying to change me. The only thing they can change is the
way they respond to me. I am who I am and striving for betterment comes from
me. |
Not acceptable |
|
4 |
Feel annoyed sometime
because I think every person is unique and no one is perfect. |
Not acceptable |
|
5 |
Unsupported |
Not acceptable |
|
7 |
I understand and I am
trying to change - actually he is pretty understanding and doesn't add the
pressure (most of the pressure is mine) |
Acceptable |
|
10 |
okay |
Acceptable
|
|
1 |
I know his heart is in
the right place but ultimately it's me who has to sort the problem.. |
Acceptable
|
|
2 |
It is a two way
street...we need to work together and discuss. We have to look to ourselves
and try to understand what the other one feels and avoid hurting them. |
Acceptable
|
|
6 |
If he did it in an
understanding positive way, I would appreciate his help. If he tried
changing me in an angry, condescending manner, I would be very upset. It is
not so much the reason, behind him wanting to change me, but the method he
uses. |
Acceptable
|
|
8 |
He has. I've had some
great (although somewhat painful) feedback from my husband that has helped
me change for the better. For example, I used to snap at people. Him
especially. I just never noticed that I did it. And you know what? He's
right. It ain't acceptable. |
Acceptable
|
|
9 |
It infuriates me that
he wants to dictate my personality
|
Not acceptable |
|
8.
What other habits would he like to change in you, if any? |
|
3 |
Weight |
|
4 |
He thinks that, I have
to be right all of the time. The problem is he can't handle my opinions that
are totally subjective and not in his view point. |
|
5 |
he probably wishes I
cooked more and was neater in my housekeeping habits |
|
7 |
Everything |
|
1 |
Leaving the door open
behind me... |
|
2 |
none |
|
6 |
My need to know what
"the plan" is. For example, on Saturdays -- I would like to know if he's up
for grocery shopping at 1:00 or 3:00 or never! Here's another one: when he
comes in from work at night, I would just love a few moments of chat, but he
wants to get a cup of tea and disappear into his study. And then, because I
don't know what "the plan" is (i.e., when he's likely to re-emerge) well...
You can see how the thing might snowball! AS you can see, I think I know
what he'd like to change most in me. But I wonder what he would say
separately and privately. |
Please give us your
confidential
opinion of this survey at the bottom of this page. Thank you!
|
5
(50.00%) 
3
(30.00%) 
2
(20.00%) 
1 (10.00%)