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Also rWhat's Important Now, by John Kuypers Dear John, Although I'm not a big book person no other book that I've ever read has helped me as much as yours. I like the way it is written in lay terms, the way each chapter is summarized and naturally seems to lead into the next chapter. I can relate to many of your experiences and in fact it was a bit spooky at first as some of your personal experiences were as if you were writing about me. I use it as a reference to issues that come up and so far I've always found good advice from the book to help deal with those issues. Bob B, Alberta
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
is an illness where the sufferer is
almost constantly under stress because
of perceived threats to personal
safety. These threats can be in the
form a tone of voice, spoken words, an
innocent action or even a look which
is perceived as threatening to the
sufferer of PTSD. The result is that
the sufferer of PTSD can never be
fully present; he can never be at his
best, it is difficult to learn new
skills and most importantly, to be
comfortable with himself. He remains
ever-vigilant for signs of danger.
This explanation was taken from Dr.
David Amen s book Change Your Brain
Change Your Life. I had in the past not been willing to listen to my body to the point where in 1985 I had to undergo a kidney transplant. When I researched the probable causes of my kidney failure, I came upon an book written by a German scientist who linked my particular kidney failure with a combination of constant high stress and poor diet. Now I listen to my body and your book reinforces that.
The chapter
on Changing Your Beliefs was
especially beneficial because I could
relate to how my beliefs had affected
my life in the past. Your development
of self exploratory dialogue is
excellent, it helps me to discover
triggers I would never see otherwise.
The chapter Be Authentic is very
honest regarding the courage it takes
to be yourself. Let go of Outcomes
helped me to free myself of trying to
control my environment, something
that, as a sufferer of PTSD I spent
much of my energy trying to do. Feel
Your Feelings a great personal
coaching chapter I use it a lot. I
appreciate the sections Remember,
Watch For and Try This at the end of
each chapter. Norm T, Ontario, Canada
P.C., Ottawa, ON, Canada
FF, Oakville, ON, Canada p.s. I think I could talk about your book for hours! It just helped me again this morning, when I realized I was upset just because something didn't happen according to MY EXPECTATIONS. I thought of your analysis and explanations and my bad mood miraculously disappeared! I just wanted you to know that I found your book when I knew I needed to work to be "present" in my life. (I am a one person business - Real estate) And it led me to the Option Institute and a course called" Exceptional Women", as well as the weekend "Happiness is a Choice" or whatever it is called. There I met someone who was going to work with Eckhardt Tolle as a teacher of his workshops, and I was introduced to his books. All tolled (pardon the pun) I am definitely more present now than when I first took your book out of the library...and not being present had to do with fear. My fear of facing reality, which was hurtful to me. When I read your book, I underlined and noted much of what you said...it meant a lot to me. Thank you. MW, Massachusetts, USA
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I picked up this book at the November 2006 Promise Keepers event in Toronto. It looked like it had some helpful ideas, and didn’t look too religious. I remember looking at bits of it now and again for about a year. But in 2007, when I told my wife I was no longer going to even try to pretend to be straight, I picked it up and started reading. It is now April 2008, and I’m only just past half way through. That’s not because I have a problem with it. It’s because it takes me about two months to process and begin to use each tool he presents that will help me live in the present, and live according to what is important for me NOW. The chapter headings are: 1. Listen to your body. 2. Change your beliefs 3. Be authentic 4. Risk disapproval 5. Let go of outcomes 6. Feel your feelings These are pretty dangerous ideas, especially for someone (like me) entrenched in the Christian church. In Christian circles, listening to your body sounds like giving in to fleshly desires. Changing your beliefs could mean stepping into heresy (and we all know where that leads). Being authentic means taking off the masks we all wear (especially around churches and church people). Risking disapproval is the scariest thing imaginable (especially if we risk God’s disapproval, and how easy is it to separate the church’s approval from God’s approval). Letting go of outcomes sounds reckless (and recklessness is the sin of Balaam). And feeling feelings… shouldn’t we base our lives on the truth, not on feelings? My only problem with this book is that it seems to place authenticity as the supreme value. While Kuypers does mention values from time to time, and explores the dangers of being authentic (such as “authentically” expressing your road rage), I’m disappointed that he did not devote a chapter to determining a hierarchy of values. As a Christian, I believe that love is that the greatest motivator, and that there are many times when we are required to put our own desires and feelings aside in order to be loving and kind. That aside, this book has probably been the most significant book I have read in the last… 42 years (except for maybe The Cat in the Hat). It has helped me to embrace the fact that I am gay man, and that coming to terms with that fact will indeed help me get on with my life. I am not sure that this is anything like what PromiseKeepers Canada had in mind when they put this put in their bookstore! But God had them put it there anyway, no matter what their intentions! Kuypers is a Christian, but this book is written for anybody. He does not quote scripture, he does not use church language, he does not even talk about Christian principles. He is brutally honest and most of his material seems like common sense (even if it is uncommon). Highly recommended! Anonymous
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